Within a few weeks, Regular Decision acceptances will arrive in student’s email boxes. UCLA, UC Berkeley, Harvard, Tufts, U Miami – name a top school. Unfortunately, rejections will come out, too, and that’s what I’d like to talk about today.
Just how upset should you be if you are rejected from your top choice college? Your folks, teachers and friends will tell you it’s okay, that you have other options, that you’ll bloom where you’re planted - but inside you feel rotten. Your top college was perfect for you and you are certain that was demonstrated in your application! You find yourself thinking, Maybe there was a mistake! If not, boy am I angry! Maybe I should call the local rep and plead with them. Maybe I’ll just stay in my room and sulk until I feel better.
You may go through every stage of grief until you get to “acceptance”, but I’d like to encourage you to get there faster. Maybe you’ll begin to understand that rejection might actually be a good thing.
Here’s the truth: where you attend college matters much less than what you do while you’re in college. Think about it. Attending a top-tier college and keeping your head down, working on your studies for four years, won’t automatically cause you to become happy and successful (however you measure that). On the other hand, attending a college that values you and getting out there on campus, meeting people, finding a professor who will mentor you and really spreading your wings will take you very far.
Nearly half of college students do not attend their top-choice college. Yes, Warren Buffet was rejected at Harvard and went to Columbia, Sergey Brin was denied at MIT and ended up at Stanford for grad school, and Meredith Vieira was forced to take Tufts over Harvard. It’s hard to feel sorry for them, isn’t it? Many, many other extremely successful people, however, went to average colleges. They relied on who they are, rather than where they went to college, to make their mark.
If you are rejected from your top college, consider the following celebrities and their paths:
Oprah – Went to Tennessee State University
David Letterman – Wanted Indiana U, went to Ball State
Kristen Wiig – Went to UAZ, never graduated
Steven Spielberg – Rejected at USC twice!, went to CSU Long Beach
Lyndon B. Johnson – Attended Southwest Texas State Teachers College
Linus Pauling – Attended Oregon State University
Tom Brokaw – Rejected at Harvard, went to U South Dakota
Nancy Pelosi – Went to Trinity Washington College
Dan Harmon - Dropped out of Marquette, later attended Glendale Community College
Amy Tan – Attended San Jose State University
Tom Hanks – Went to Chabot Community College and then to Sacramento State University
Matt Groenig - Rejected at Harvard, went to Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA
Ronald Reagan – Went to Eureka College in Illinois
So, when decisions are announced in the coming weeks, carefully consider all of your acceptances and choose the college that feels right for you. Learn, grow, put yourself out there. You’ll be unstoppable!
Whether you are a high school freshman, sophomore or junior, pretty soon you’ll have to decide which classes to take next fall. Choices will have to be made; I’ll try to help you sort them out.
The first step is to ensure you are taking the classes required for graduation from your high school. These typically include 3 or 4 years of Math, 4 years of English,
3 years of Science and 2 or 3 years of social studies or history.
For some, the core classes will march along steadily through the years and the bigger decisions will be about which fun, interesting elective classes to take. For others, this time of year can be anxiety-producing and for those students I offer a few words of advice.
Colleges first look at a student’s GPA and then the rigor of the classes taken. Students should challenge themselves with increasingly difficult classes each year, and this includes the senior year. For example, if an Honors class is taken in tenth grade, it would be best to take another Honors/AP class or two in eleventh grade. Two APs in eleventh grade mean three in twelfth grade, and so on. College admissions officers will know which classes are offered in your high school, and the top students should be able to demonstrate that they have taken advantage of what’s available. If you are torn between taking a “regular” class and getting an A or taking the AP or Honors version of the same class, take the advanced class if you feel you can do well.
Is it important to stuff your schedule with as many Honors and AP classes as you can? No. Actually, more than three or four Honors/AP classes in one year only serves to demonstrate that you may be a bit freaked out about not getting into a top college. It’s neither necessary nor advised to load your schedule so full of tough classes that the rest of your life is compromised. College admissions officers seek a well-balanced freshman class with diverse interests and abilities. Instead of taking a ton of college-level classes, students should be stretching their wings and engaging in a variety of activities, ideally focusing on one or two areas of special interest.
Some students know what they want to study in college; many don’t. If you have a particular interest in any subject - Computer Science, English, History, Drama, etc. - try to find room in your schedule to take additional classes in that area. If you are interested in the field of nursing, you should take Chemistry in high school and do well in it. Statistics is another class that is beneficial to nursing students, but not necessarily one that colleges will specifically look for since it is likely to be a part of the nursing curriculum in college. If Engineering appeals to you, you will want to take the most rigorous math classes offered at your school. It is not uncommon for a competitive, prospective Engineering major to take both Calculus BC and AP Physics. Are you set on becoming a doctor? Calculus and Chemistry, or Biology and Physics will prepare you well for college studies in the science field.
As always, seek the advice of someone who is educated in college advising if you are faced with a difficult decision.
Your friends are doing it, parents are talking about it in the football stands, you’re reading about it in the news. Would hiring a private college advisor be right for you and your child? If so, how do you find a “good” one?
A seasoned college advisor can be a lifesaver if you are unfamiliar with current admissions requirements, trends and practices. Not only can they bring you peace of mind, but a private college advisor can introduce you and your student to colleges you may not have heard of. These colleges will be selected based on your student’s academic profile, as well as other metrics like size, location, cost, sport preferences, weather – just about anything that your student feels is important. Additionally, a college advisor can help your student strategize for the best possible application outcome.
Personal referrals are always a great place to start your search for a private college advisor. You can also find a list of local college advisors on the Higher Education Consultants Association (“HECA”) website.
Questions you should ask a college advisor include:
Q. How long have been advising students?
A. You want to find an advisor who has been in the business, full time, for at least five years.
Q. Have you completed a specialized program for college advising?
A. The top advisors have attended a 2 or 3-year college and career advising program at a university, either in person or online. The UC system has a few options for this and prepares advisors well.
Q. How many students do you help each year?
A. An advisor’s client load can tell you a lot about how much attention your student will receive. Fewer than ten full-package clients might indicate that the advisor is still learning the trade or is perhaps close to retirement. More than 20-25 clients should prompt you to ask about any limitations in applications, essays or hours spent with your student.
Q. Can you guarantee my child will be accepted to his favorite college (or any college)?
A. A reputable college advisor will not make any guarantees whatsoever, aside from promising to do their best.
Q. Do you specialize in any specific area?
A. Some advisors specialize in helping students with learning differences, visual and performing arts, military, and sports applicants. Most advisors are capable of helping these students, although they don’t consider themselves specialists in any particular area. If your student has a special need, a seasoned advisor in that area can be found. Keep looking and asking.
Q. Do you personally know college representatives, and can you advocate for my son or daughter?
A. This answer should be “no”. If it isn’t, move on.
Q. Do you tour colleges on your own?
A. A qualified college advisor tours campuses all over the country and should visit, on average, between 5 and 15 campuses each year.
Q. What is your process, and when do you begin working with students?
A. There is not a ‘standard’ approach to counseling a student through the college admission process. Do your best to understand the advisor’s process, timeline and price, and make sure it sounds like it will meet your needs.
Finally, remember that your student’s high school will offer professional guidance and these services should be utilized to their fullest extent before you reach out for additional support.
A few weeks ago, I had an opportunity to speak with Douglas Belkin, a higher education reporter for the Wall Street Journal. Douglas was interested in knowing what lengths high school students are going to in order to gain an advantage in the competitive world of college admissions. The Demographics section of the application is where this is most likely to happen, as colleges often seek to create a diverse student body. Doug was curious. Are they falsifying their ethnic background? Looking for creative ways to describe themselves as First Gen? Wondering whether it would benefit them to check the LGBTQ box, even if they don’t identify as such?
The answer to all the above is yes. Yes! Students are applying a bit of creativity to their college applications, and who could blame them? Colleges have added these demographic questions to their applications so it must be important to them, right? It’s no wonder students are thinking twice about their answers. Many are hoping to answer at least one of the questions in the affirmative in the hope that it might make them stand out.
My question is this: What happens to the child behind the college applicant when faced with questions of ethnic background, sexual orientation, parental education, etc., when none of them apply? Well, they can feel inadequate. Less than. Not “good enough”. However they have been raised, whatever they’ve been taught, whoever they truly are, is not sufficient to gain the attention of an admission officer.
The fact is, though, that when students answer all college application questions authentically, without embroidering the truth or telling falsehoods, they do get into colleges. They get into great colleges, and typically several of them.
It’s time to value our students for who they are today. This is the key to promoting feelings of self-worth, confidence, personal integrity and happiness.
Isn’t that really the goal?
Read the article in full here:
The Most Agonizing Question on a College Application: What’s Your Race?
Students worry about revealing race, ethnicity, sexual orientation in applications
Dec. 23, 2019 6:26 am ET
As elite colleges and universities seek to be more diverse, there is one section on the Common Application that has become increasingly loaded: the boxes where prospective students are asked about their identity.
Students know they face tougher-than-ever odds of earning admission and feel pressure to answer in a way that gives them an edge, college counselors and families say. Colleges, in turn, are frustrated because they have no way to confirm the information students give.
Questions college counselors are encountering from students and their parents include: Does partial heritage count? If a father is Cuban but you don’t speak Spanish, should you check Hispanic? Is it advantageous to declare yourself gay or bisexual even if you’re not?
At Friends Academy, a private Quaker school on Long Island, N.Y., where tuition is $37,000 a year, a student whose family was Jewish and came from Europe checked Latino on his application, said Ed Dugger, the school’s director of college counseling, describing the incident from three years ago. When Mr. Dugger asked him why, the boy said his family had just taken a DNA test and it showed that he was 2% Sephardic—meaning he also had ancestors from Portugal or Spain.
“He felt that was going to give him a leg up,” said Mr. Dugger. “I asked him if he felt connected to the Latino community.” The student changed his answer to white.
Universities prioritize diversity out of the belief that students learn from being in an environment of students with different perspectives, said Mike Reilly, executive director of the American Association of College Registrars and Admissions Officers, whose membership includes admissions officers from more than 2,000 schools.
The Common Application is accepted by about 900 colleges and universities. More than one million students used it annually to send about five million applications. The demographic section is optional but the response rate is 90%, said a spokesman for the Common Application. Students aren’t asked which race or ethnicity they belong to, but rather “how you identify yourself.”
Inside college admission offices, the question is prompting debates and raising questions over whether students are legitimate members of certain groups or trying to game the system. Some admissions officers say schools look for extracurricular activities that could reflect an applicant’s racial identity, such as participation in a Latino or African-American student group. The absence of any further mention of their background could be a red flag.
The goal is to determine whether a student will represent a minority community in a way that enriches the school, said Jon Reider, who was a senior associate director of admission at Stanford University for 15 years and then director of college counseling at a private high school. This places colleges in the awkward position of determining whether a student is “authentically black” or “authentically Latino,” he said.
The impact of an applicant’s race is marginal and one of many factors a school considers, admissions officers say. But when students are trying to get into elite colleges with acceptance rates in the single digits, any advantage, however small, takes on outsize consideration to some applicants and their families.
The Supreme Court approved the limited consideration of race in admissions in 1978 on the grounds that fostering diversity represents a “compelling interest.” Affluent white students have long benefited from a different set of advantages including legacy preference, athletic recruiting and the ability to donate money.
The focus on identity has grown in recent years as elite schools try to reflect changing U.S. demographics. At Harvard University, for instance, the number of freshmen who identified as white declined to 601 in 2018 from 739 in 2010, according to federal data. Over the same period the number of Latino students rose to 176 from 144 while black students grew to 167 from 99. The entering-class size was flat.
In 2014, a nonprofit sued Harvard alleging the school discriminated against Asian-American applicants. A federal judge in October determined that the school’s admission policy wasn’t perfect but neither did it intentionally discriminate. The case has been appealed.
The purported advantages of lying about race figured into the sprawling admissions-cheating scheme this year. William “Rick” Singer, the college counselor and mastermind who pleaded guilty in March, encouraged some clients to identify as black or Latino. He warned teens that failing to misrepresent their race could put them at a “competitive disadvantage,” according to a person familiar with his business.
Marjorie Klapper, who pleaded guilty in connection to the case, had a son who was listed on at least one college application as African-American and Mexican, though he was neither. Ms. Klapper was sentenced to three weeks in prison. Neither she nor her attorneys responded to a request for comment.
A lawyer for Mr. Singer declined to comment.
At Walter Payton College Preparatory High School in Chicago, a selective public school where 99% of students enroll in four-year colleges after graduation, conversations about race and admissions can be tense.
Richard Alvarez, a senior of Mexican heritage, is waiting to hear from the University of Chicago. He said his school has spent years educating students about race, but now that the college crunch has arrived that sensitivity training “has gone out the window.”
“Everyone is at each other’s throat,” he said. “White students have this thing that brown and black students unfairly get into schools over them.”
Luke Martin, who just got accepted to the University of Chicago, said he checked off white, black and Caribbean on the Common Application because one of his grandparents is black and from Jamaica.
“I think it helps you stand out,” he said.
Some schools now consider sexual orientation and gender identity in admissions. In 2016, the Common Application added an optional box to fill out under male or female “to share more about your gender identity.” In 2018, 2.5% of students responded.
At least 28 schools and university systems ask applicants about sexual orientation, said Geeny Beemyn, coordinator of Campus Pride’s Trans Policy Clearinghouse, an advocate and resource for transgender policies at colleges and universities.
Duke University’s application includes an optional essay, telling students that “Duke’s commitment to diversity and inclusion includes sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. If you would like to share with us more about how you identify as LGBTQIA+ [Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersexed, Asexual+] and have not done so elsewhere in the application, we invite you to do so here.”
The question was added five years ago because Duke admissions officers were seeing an uptick in students writing about their sexuality on the main essay in the Common Application, said Christoph Guttentag, dean of undergraduate admissions. “We don’t tally up attributes, it’s really a matter of who is this person as an individual,” Mr. Guttentag said. Since the addition of the question, he said, the LGBTQIA+ population has grown larger, more vocal and more confident.
Duke is one of the most selective schools in the country. Nearly 36,000 students applied last year, fewer than 3,200 were accepted.
Karen Schiavo, a private college counselor in California, said her students generally find the questions about gender and sexual orientation puzzling.
“They want to give the right answer,” she said. “I had someone ask me once, ‘If it would be to my benefit if I self-described as LGBTQ?’ I said, ‘Well, are you? Do you identify as LGBTQ?’ The answer was no.”
In the U.S., there are over 2,500 4-year colleges and universities.
I'm often asked by parents and students how they can determine which colleges are right for them. I understand - it can be tough to sort them out.
Often, families begin to whittle down the possibilities geographically. Some want to stay close to home, some want to get as far away from home as possible, and some are looking for a good fit regardless of location.
Another way to begin crafting a college list is by determining how much you can afford, and how much individual colleges will cost. College Board has a tool for calculating your Expected Family Contribution - this is the amount the federal government assumes you can afford to contribute to your student's education on an annual basis. https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/pay-for-college/paying-your-share/expected-family-contribution-calculator
The next step is to use the individual college's Net Price Calculator. This is found on all college websites and gives you an estimate of what their college will cost your student. Does every student get a bit of a discount? Well, it's very common!
The final, but most important, determinant is academic fit. Accepted students' GPA and test scores, special programs, compelling major/s, research opportunities, class size, after-class availability of professors, proximity to internships - these are just a few of the factors that should come into play.
College search engines that take these factors into account are easy to find online. Start with a long list and begin whittling! Consider the social climate and visit if you can.
Thank you for reading my very first blog. Every few weeks I'll discuss another aspect of the college admission process. I hope you'll come visit again!